muddybluewater Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 This is not mine but I had to share it. These are OUR rules: Please note… these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Saturday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: * Subtle hints do not work! * Strong hints do not work! * Obvious hints do not work! * JUST SAY IT! 1. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days 1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really 1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as: * Sex, * Sport, * Cars, * or Computers 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, it’s like camping Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chad and Belinda Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Chris, Be forewarned... You sleeping on the couch tonight??? BTW...this has shattered my image of you. LOL Belinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muddybluewater Posted November 24, 2009 Author Share Posted November 24, 2009 I just thought it was funny and had to share it. I woke up my wife from laughing when I read it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chad and Belinda Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 You know I was joking...right? It is hilariuos!!! Chad and I laughed so much, I'm surprised we didn't wake the kids. Have a good day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Chris....I have a wonderful sale going on...for you only...come on over...don't leave your car running...you'll be here a while..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muddybluewater Posted November 24, 2009 Author Share Posted November 24, 2009 Chris....I have a wonderful sale going on...for you only...come on over...don't leave your car running...you'll be here a while..... No thanks, I don't need any concrete shoes right now and besides I think Guido would agree with the rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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