afgun Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I'm not qualified to answer... my wife is the one who was originally interested in a reef aquarium. I wasn't keen on spending the money, but she convinced me... and I have ended up the addict! She's just frustrated (disgusted?) at how long it's taking me to get this thing ready for water! Bottom line is what other posters have said... don't obsess over it, don't let it be the focal point of your life, but let your SO know that you're very interested in it and you'd like them to be open to the idea of keeping it together! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Hydro Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I think getting things as automated as possible especially for larger tanks helps to not spend so much time on it. ATO to stablizes salinty, ro filter so no trips to buy water, Ca reactors to stop dosing and less testing, phosphate reactors to keep down algae, uv sterilizers keeps glass cleanings to a minimum, buy supplies in bulk to reduce trips to the LFS. Of course this all costs money which can be a different strain on the relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+mcallahan Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Have you asked why she doesn't like it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derek Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 My suggestion is to switch to dudes and get predatory fish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robb in Austin Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 @etannert; if there was a "like post" button, I'd like your post. @Derek; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Jakedoza Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 can't make them feel something that they don't feel... I will say this.. always be honest about your hobby. Show her you enjoy it.. maybe she will enjoy that you enjoy it. Maybe... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Alvarado Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 hehe, poor peeps. My wife likes it as much as I do. She did the LR arrangement, we discuss the fish, the corals, what to do next. She gave me an open checkbook to make it as nice as I want Got me from a 55G to a 125G in 4 weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chad and Belinda Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I have to say that I LOVE this hobby as much as Chad does. Since joining ARC and MAAST, we have met some amazing people and have made some life long friends. It may also help if the two of you hang out with some of the people you've met here on ARC, or have her attend a meeting with you. We have met some great guys in the chat room and are proud to call them our friends! We've also met with their families and have really enjoyed their company. There are also two different couples, one on ARC and one from MAAST that we have become really close with. We meet every other weekend for dinner and a movie. It's nice to be able to get together and enjoy time out and not talk about fish stuff, but then there are times that we all sit around and talk tanks. Just my two cents worth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dena Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Yea, what she said. I am actually the addict and have to beg hubby when I want something. He just likes to talk about what he builds for me. He hits an occasional meeting also. I get some things just because he likes it, but never hear the end of it when I kill "his" coral. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I think "amusingly tolerant" would best describe my wife's relationship with my tank. It's actually her favorite room to read or study in b/c it's pretty to look at and makes soothing water noises. She's generally interested in how all of the critters are doing, she gets excited for me when I get excited about something that's going particularly well, she's sad for me when someone goes carpet surfing, and she patiently glazes over when I start rattling off Latin names for things. I've asked repeatedly over the years what she'd like to see in the tank, and she honestly doesn't care. She just wants it to look nice. Exactly what I choose to put in the tank to achieve that goal doesn't matter very much to her. She's even letting me set up a 110-gal predator tank and is graciously living with a six-foot aquarium sitting on the floor of the fish room while I build the tank stand. There are, however, two things that will make her upset about the tank. As many have mentioned already, spending too much time on the tank for too many days in a row will get her grump on. The other is aesthetics - if I leave water change equipment lying all over the room, or if you can't see the fish for all of the algae growing on the front glass, then she wishes that I would find a different hobby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+dapettit Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 You can't MAKE her do anything. Take it from someone who's been married for over 30 years. Luckily my wife loves this hobby. She has her own softie tank (58 gallon) & a seahorse tank. All our tanks in the living room. We gaze at the tanks more than the big screen tv! Like others I would suggest not spending so much time (& money) on your hobby. Always put her first, oh and diamonds help too. Dave- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+dapettit Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I would also sugget you bring her to the meeting. Here she can meet other women who's husband/significant other are in hobby or they themselves have saltwater tanks. Dave- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+lewk Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 It's easy. Dory and Nemo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike M. Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Get certified to scuba dive, both of you, go to the Carribean, and she will fall in love with the ocean. Then credit card statements will read....Aquatec, Marine Depot, River City.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derekreefer Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Get certified to scuba dive, both of you, go to the Carribea + like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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